It'll be lonely this Christmas...

On the forth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... well, nothing. Crimbo is just 8 days away, and to say that I am dreading it would be a massive understatement...

As the old song goes: "It'll be lonely this Christmas, without you to hold." Never before have I cared much for this song, it's blended in to the background, became just one of many cheesy tunes. Yet this year, I swear, it's being played just to rub it in.
For the first time ever, this Christmas  has seen me become The Grinch. There has been no festive 'decking the halls', no crimbo tunes and most certainly, no Christmas shopping. Sure, I may have slipped in a few mulled wines to keep me going through the festive period, but this was purely for research purposes...
In previous years these fellow 'bah humbugs' would cause me concern, I'd tut to myself and think 'Its Christmas! Supposedly the 'most wonderful' time of the year! Where is your festive spirit?!' Yet, this year it is me playing the part of Scrooge; I'm not prepared for this year, and to be honest, I don't want it.

I've read many-a-blog in previous years from the single people harping on about the discomfort of being single at Christmas; seeing happy couples walk hand in hand, exchanging gifts, smiling and laughing. It never dawned on me before just how lucky I was to have that. Now I know how it feels for the stocking to be on the other foot...

So when you're tucking in to your Crimbo turkey this year, or raising a glass with the one you love, spare a thought for those like me... whats more, who will we pull our crackers with this year?!

It'll be lonely this Christmas...

On the forth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... well, nothing. Crimbo is just 8 days away, and to say that I am dreading it would be a massive understatement...

As the old song goes: "It'll be lonely this Christmas, without you to hold." Never before have I cared much for this song, it's blended in to the background, became just one of many cheesy tunes. Yet this year, I swear, it's being played just to rub it in.
For the first time ever, this Christmas  has seen me become The Grinch. There has been no festive 'decking the halls', no crimbo tunes and most certainly, no Christmas shopping. Sure, I may have slipped in a few mulled wines to keep me going through the festive period, but this was purely for research purposes...
In previous years these fellow 'bah humbugs' would cause me concern, I'd tut to myself and think 'Its Christmas! Supposedly the 'most wonderful' time of the year! Where is your festive spirit?!' Yet, this year it is me playing the part of Scrooge; I'm not prepared for this year, and to be honest, I don't want it.

I've read many-a-blog in previous years from the single people harping on about the discomfort of being single at Christmas; seeing happy couples walk hand in hand, exchanging gifts, smiling and laughing. It never dawned on me before just how lucky I was to have that. Now I know how it feels for the stocking to be on the other foot...

So when you're tucking in to your Crimbo turkey this year, or raising a glass with the one you love, spare a thought for those like me... whats more, who will we pull our crackers with this year?!

Big City Lights...

If someone had described Times Square to me in every minute detail, nothing would come close to seeing it through my own eyes...

As I climbed the steps of the Subway I could hear the carnage of the road above me. Taxis beeping and excited voices hushing down the packed out street, the shouts of street sellers, 'tickets, tickets!'.
I turned the corner and was blinded by the lights. All around me were huge, ginormous billboards, all lighting up the dark night sky, giving a presence of daytime onto the bustling Square below. It was in this moment that I took a breath and smiled to myself; I was in New York City.

New York is undoubtedly one of the most amazing places I have ever seen. It's busy and fast paced, yet holds so many beautiful sites to see. Alicia Keys once described it as a 'concrete jungle where dreams are made of,' and she wasn't far wrong...

If there is anywhere that can take your mind off your worries and completely distract you from every day life, it is New York. If there is anywhere that can fill you with hope and passion, it's New York. If there is anywhere that can keep you on a continuous high and a buzz from life, you've guessed it, it's New York.

It really is a city that never sleeps and can leave a lasting impression after just one visit. NYC has etched a memory in my heart that I will never forget.

Big City Lights...

If someone had described Times Square to me in every minute detail, nothing would come close to seeing it through my own eyes...

As I climbed the steps of the Subway I could hear the carnage of the road above me. Taxis beeping and excited voices hushing down the packed out street, the shouts of street sellers, 'tickets, tickets!'.
I turned the corner and was blinded by the lights. All around me were huge, ginormous billboards, all lighting up the dark night sky, giving a presence of daytime onto the bustling Square below. It was in this moment that I took a breath and smiled to myself; I was in New York City.

New York is undoubtedly one of the most amazing places I have ever seen. It's busy and fast paced, yet holds so many beautiful sites to see. Alicia Keys once described it as a 'concrete jungle where dreams are made of,' and she wasn't far wrong...

If there is anywhere that can take your mind off your worries and completely distract you from every day life, it is New York. If there is anywhere that can fill you with hope and passion, it's New York. If there is anywhere that can keep you on a continuous high and a buzz from life, you've guessed it, it's New York.

It really is a city that never sleeps and can leave a lasting impression after just one visit. NYC has etched a memory in my heart that I will never forget.

I wish things could be different...

I wrote this blog a little while ago, but have struggled with publishing it for the world to see... Sod it...

They say that love is the most amazing thing in the world. Falling in it makes a person feel indestructible, wrapped up in their own little land of smiles and fluffiness where no-one or nothing can take that feeling away. Nothing can hurt.

But imagine if you still feel that love for someone but something just isn't quite right? Imagine having to leave that person because there is simply no other choice. As the old saying goes 'If its not broke, don't try to fix it.' It seemed I lived by that motto for far too long, ignoring important things that needed to be fixed, resulting in more heartache than I knew was humanly possible.

That feeling of happiness is still there, but now it's a constant memory of what you had, slowly being replaced by a vast emptiness, a dull ache inside. I'm sure I can feel the pain physically.

During life many people wish for different things; some wish for money to make them happy, some wish for materialistic items, or for things to be easier. I used to wish for these things, but now my life has been put into perspective and I realise how shallow these wants are. All I wish for now, is for things to be different. I wish that I had a magic wand that I could wave to make everything go away and for everything to be alright again.

Being broken hearted is undoubtedly the hardest thing in the world... you don't want to get up in the mornings, you cant sleep at night, motivating yourself just seems impossible, but I know that to try to make that change I have to make an effort.

If you are reading this, and you'll know who you are, know that like you, every day I am hurting. But with that pain brings commitment, and perseverance to try and make that change happen.

I promised you I would try, and I am... xxx

I wish things could be different...

I wrote this blog a little while ago, but have struggled with publishing it for the world to see... Sod it...

They say that love is the most amazing thing in the world. Falling in it makes a person feel indestructible, wrapped up in their own little land of smiles and fluffiness where no-one or nothing can take that feeling away. Nothing can hurt.

But imagine if you still feel that love for someone but something just isn't quite right? Imagine having to leave that person because there is simply no other choice. As the old saying goes 'If its not broke, don't try to fix it.' It seemed I lived by that motto for far too long, ignoring important things that needed to be fixed, resulting in more heartache than I knew was humanly possible.

That feeling of happiness is still there, but now it's a constant memory of what you had, slowly being replaced by a vast emptiness, a dull ache inside. I'm sure I can feel the pain physically.

During life many people wish for different things; some wish for money to make them happy, some wish for materialistic items, or for things to be easier. I used to wish for these things, but now my life has been put into perspective and I realise how shallow these wants are. All I wish for now, is for things to be different. I wish that I had a magic wand that I could wave to make everything go away and for everything to be alright again.

Being broken hearted is undoubtedly the hardest thing in the world... you don't want to get up in the mornings, you cant sleep at night, motivating yourself just seems impossible, but I know that to try to make that change I have to make an effort.

If you are reading this, and you'll know who you are, know that like you, every day I am hurting. But with that pain brings commitment, and perseverance to try and make that change happen.

I promised you I would try, and I am... xxx