Whether I spot them running across the lounge floor during Eastenders, or crawling across my ceiling as I lay in bed at night, they always manage to completely freak me out.
It seems that at the moment, wherever I turn I am faced with eight beady black eyes straing back at me from the centre of a gleaming shiny web. and over the last few weeks I have had many a spider-attack which has left me feeling anxious, stressed and slightly paranoid. Tell me, have I missed something?; since when have there been so many spiders in Britain? I'm sure that there aren't usually this amount in September? And when did they start getting so god damn BIG?!
Most people will be familiar with the well-know children's story 'Charlotte's Web', I however had never had the pleasure of reading this book when I was younger and forgot all about it until last weekend when the film (directed by Gary Winick) was shown on TV. Hungover and sprawled across the couch with not much care, I let it play. Before long I was mesmerised and I even started to think about spiders a little differently. I suddenly couldn't help but feeling a wave of guilt as I remembered all the times I had committed murder on these ugly creatures and vowed that I would not do such a thing ever again.
That was until today's events...
I awoke peacefully this morning and was faced with the chore of hanging out my not-so-dirty laundry. I shoved the pile of clothes into a basket and walked outside over the dewy grass and towards the washing line. Then it happened; attack of the web.
Walking into a spider web is quite possibly one of the most disturbing things that can happen. You're never quite sure whether the web was empty, or if the spider was slap bang in the middle and is now crawling over you.
I stopped dead and gave myself the once over, checking for any possible stow-aways then looked over the remainder of the web. I couldn't see it, so I decided that it was definitely just an abandoned web. [It took some convincing] I walked on to the washing line with my hand outstetched as if waving away invisable mist.
To my horror the washing line was covered in web, and before you assume I don't clean my clothes often, this is not the case! I can see the silver strands of sticky web glistening in the morning sun, they're everywhere!
I kept thinking about Charlotte's Web, and told myself that spiders really aren't as evil as I make out. Washing hung, I grab my bag and head out of the door to my car. It is then that I am confronted with the biggest spider I am yet to see. I am inches away from walking into his web and I realise that his web is attached to my car.
It is in this moment that I consider the [slightly insane] possibility that these spiders are targeting me, setting up their webs in places that they know I am going to walk through. I'm sure they are coming back with a vengeance to terrorise me the way that I have terrorised them. Two incidents in the space of an hour is not the norm! It's time to get out the conkers and repel these eight-legged freaks the way they repel me.
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