Baby Talk

I'm not like most women I know. Most women I know are mad for babies. And when I say mad, I really do mean completely goo goo. [See what I did there?]

I'm sure everyone has worked somewhere during some point of their life when a colleague has gone off on maternity leave, then a few weeks/months later they re-appear, armed with a pram and baby.

Instantly, all the women in the office are sucked in like magnets, forming a reasonable sized crowd around the bambino. All coo-ing and ooh-ing at the tiny bundle of joy still half asleep and completely oblivious to it's new surroundings. I say all the women, but this does not include me.

To me, there is nothing worse than gathering around a small child, staring at him/her for several minutes with a stupid expression whilst making baby talk. It's a baby! What are people waiting for? Some sort of performance?

Give me a puppy, even a kitten, and I will be there for hours on end playing and frolicking with the little creature, but a baby? Forgive my bluntness, but they do nothing! If I brought a two-week old pup into my office, I'm pretty sure the general reaction from the boss would not be positive. Perhaps a few 'Ahh's' and pats of the head but most definitely a stern look from the boss that says 'Get that dog off the premises'

Do women not realise that babies do not understand what you are saying? No matter how much you try to baby-sise it, it makes no odds.

I don't mean to throw my toys out of the pram here [couldn't resist] but can we just stop it with the show and tell at work? A screaming child really doesn't bode well in the background when on the phone to customers.

There is a time and a place... I believe it's called Creche.