I wish things could be different...

I wrote this blog a little while ago, but have struggled with publishing it for the world to see... Sod it...

They say that love is the most amazing thing in the world. Falling in it makes a person feel indestructible, wrapped up in their own little land of smiles and fluffiness where no-one or nothing can take that feeling away. Nothing can hurt.

But imagine if you still feel that love for someone but something just isn't quite right? Imagine having to leave that person because there is simply no other choice. As the old saying goes 'If its not broke, don't try to fix it.' It seemed I lived by that motto for far too long, ignoring important things that needed to be fixed, resulting in more heartache than I knew was humanly possible.

That feeling of happiness is still there, but now it's a constant memory of what you had, slowly being replaced by a vast emptiness, a dull ache inside. I'm sure I can feel the pain physically.

During life many people wish for different things; some wish for money to make them happy, some wish for materialistic items, or for things to be easier. I used to wish for these things, but now my life has been put into perspective and I realise how shallow these wants are. All I wish for now, is for things to be different. I wish that I had a magic wand that I could wave to make everything go away and for everything to be alright again.

Being broken hearted is undoubtedly the hardest thing in the world... you don't want to get up in the mornings, you cant sleep at night, motivating yourself just seems impossible, but I know that to try to make that change I have to make an effort.

If you are reading this, and you'll know who you are, know that like you, every day I am hurting. But with that pain brings commitment, and perseverance to try and make that change happen.

I promised you I would try, and I am... xxx